I Know Him So Well
by BananaBabe903
Summary: Martha Jones prepares to say goodbye to the Doctor in Last of the Time Lords. What she was thinking before she said goodbye. "I know him so well"--Chess lyrics used. One-shot


**A quick one-shot of what Martha thought when she was about to leave the Doctor. Put to the song "I Know Him So Well" from an uber-amazing musical "Chess". Please review and ENJOY! :D**

**Disclaimer: IDNODWoIKHSWCATBBCD**

Martha walked inside of her old bedroom in her mom's house. It was quiet, and had a small twin sized bed in the corner. Her bedroom didn't have any KISS or Journey posters like other kids' did at their age, instead it was decorated with bookshelves and lined with textbooks. Her closet was filled with moth balls and a black dress she wore to prom. Her child hood and her teen years suffocated the room of all oxygen, but Martha felt like a stranger in this room. It wasn't _her _room. At least not who she was now.

She thought of the Doctor, and how much she had changed because of him, _for _him. Martha wondered how much she'd be changed in even two years more of traveling with the Doctor. She cringed at the thought of the Master, and the Year That Never Was, and how many more times she had to face things like that, where the world was in _her _hands…

_Nothing is so good it lasts eternally  
Perfect situations must go wrong  
But this has never yet prevented me  
Wanting far too much for far too long_

She remembered the Doctor's face, and his smile, and then about how oblivious she was before she met the Master. Martha laughed at herself when she remembered she thought she knew _everything _about the Doctor after he spoke about his home planet—then after she met the Master, Martha knew she barely knew _anything _about him. Just a grain of knowledge in a widespread beach. And the tide was coming in.

_Looking back I could have played it differently  
Won a few more moments who can tell  
But it took time to understand the man  
Now at least I know I know him well_

She thought of Rose, and wondered how well _she _knew him. Maybe she didn't, and maybe Rose had lived in a world of unrequited love as well.

Did anyone know the Doctor? Did they understand him? And could anyone ever love him enough to hold on for eternity, and never let go? She didn't think it was possible. You could love him, but for how long? How long until someone else came along and he fell in love?

_Wasn't it good?  
Wasn't he fine?  
Isn't it madness  
He can't be mine?_

Martha flipped through her textbooks and her old yearbooks. She skimmed through the kindergarten pages all the way to hers—the sixth grade. She paused at a name in the kindergarten page, Ms. Wilson's class, and gaped at the name. _Rose Tyler. _She had known Rose Tyler, yet had never spoke to her because of the age difference.

Could she really just—leave him? Who would take care of him?

"_**And you, as his companion, what do you do? Why does he need you?" John Smith spat.**_

"'_**Cos he's lonely," Martha whispered. **_

_But in the end he needs  
A little bit more than me --  
More security_

She thought of how much the Master had opened her eyes—how much she had grown in the past year.

_I know him so well._

Martha looked back to the day she had met the Doctor. She was young, and foolish. Sure, she hadn't aged at all, but mentally, Martha Jones back then was frail, and young, and fell into love without anyone to catch her.

_No one in your life is with you constantly  
No one is completely on your side  
And though I move my world to be with him  
Still the gap between us is too wide._

She remembered the kiss—oh, the kiss the Doctor had given her. He said it meant nothing, and was a DNA transfer thing, but did it mean anything? At all? Just a bit?

_Looking back I could  
Have played it  
Differently_

So young. So foolish.

_Learned about the man  
Before I fell_

His dark hair, his tight blue suit, his dark eyes you could get lost in…

_But I was  
Ever so much  
Younger then  
Now at least_

_I know I know him well_

She began to descend out of her room, to come face-to-face with Tish. Tish must've read Martha like a book, seeing her pain, and hugged her. Tish understood Martha better than anyone. Could Martha ever understand the Doctor like that?

"Good luck," Tish whispered to Martha as she walked out of her house. Martha nodded.

"Yeah."

_Wasn't it good?  
Wasn't he fine?  
Isn't it madness_

"_**The Face of Boe, what he said—did he mean you got me? Is that what he meant?" Martha asked.**_

_**The Doctor smiled sympathetically. "No, I don't think so."**_

_He won't be mine?  
Didn't I know  
How it would go?  
If I knew from the start?_

"_**Oh I know what it's like! It's like when you fancy someone, and they don't even know you exist!" the Doctor exclaimed, then dashed off.**_

"_**Hey, you're lucky though! You got yourself a forward-thinking guy, with that hot potato in the sharp suit." Tallulah exclaimed.**_

"_**Oh he's not—we're not together," Martha protested.**_

"_**Oh sure you are! I've seen the way you look at him, it's obvious!" Tallulah pressed.**_

"_**Not to him."**_

Martha folded her arms across her chest. The walk from her house to the TARDIS seemed to take forever.

_Why am I falling apart?_

"It took time to understand him," Martha whispered. "Now I know, I know him so well." And she walked into the TARDIS.

**I hope u liked it!!! :D Please REVIEW!!!**


End file.
